Sunday, January 20, 2013


Your Jell-O Art Queen is thrilled to report that we have a theme!  i-Jell-o

We even have a slogan: From the Me Generation to the iGeneration.

Think about it, everyone is tuning out from violence and global climate change and wiring into themselves with their iDevices.... Instead of more human connection, which is one of the only known ways to successfully transcend hatred and violence, we have an entire generation tuned into iThings.

Perhaps they are even hooked into the chemical slush that passes for food these days: extruded chemical blends that have a pleasing enough mouth feel to go down easy and the right secret sauce. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT STUFF IS KILLING YOU?

Okay, no one wants to hear another rant on the way those late icons Twinkies and Ding Dongs used to be real cake and how good they used to taste. Jell-O, in contrast, has always been made from calf hooves and other offal (mostly hides, apparently.)  It has never been food in a classic sense of something grown and gathered. It is made from a process. So we will be exploring process.

And in the process something is lost. Imagine if someone, say a Radar Angel, came back after say, twenty-five years, imagine how shocked and appalled they might be at the temperature change, the near end of the world, the death of the iconic Hostess Cakes, and the way the modern young person seems to be wired up to a silent transmitter while hooked up to a silent killer that passes for food. 

It's Too Darn Hot! People are slurping down melted Jell-O, with vodka, no less, and because it is easy, they don't even notice they have stopped eating food. The Radar Angels and Jell-O Art to the rescue!

Your Queen will stop here with the fantasy scenario of what backstory lies behind the theme, because like all good Jell-O Show themes, this one was chosen from a brilliant brainstorm of dozens of great ideas and connections, and it is open to your interpretation. You are the artist, remember that. I expect a grand range of interpretation that far surpasses even my ridiculous imagination.

The actual show and performance may diverge wildly from the said theme  by the time March 30 2013 rolls around. I'm not even one of the people who usually takes the theme from concept to comedy but this year I got to take notes at the brainstorm and it was really, really hot. People just stripped down to their wings and their Wonder Bread wrapper underwear and we didn't even have time to finish the wine and hummus.

Since there are people working on performance now, all you have to worry about is making your Jell-O, and of course bringing it to the show. You are free to interpret the theme in any fashion that appeals to you, or to totally ignore it and bring the Jell-O you had planned, or the result of your plans if they go a bit south.

I myself had something totally unrelated in mind, but the way my mind works is dependable, and I already found a little angle from the theme to my piece. That little dotted vowel is so pervasive in life that it has a plethora of facets worth mining and metaphors worth mixing.

So go out there and buy your gelatin (you can actually find non-Kraft gelatin out there to bolster up your iScore in the iCompetition toward iPurity of iNtention). 

This is going to get old quickly, isn't it? Keep it fresh for me, won't you?

In other Jell-O art news, I took a plastic box full of fascinators back East for party wear (my Mom looked utterly stunning in one) and on the way back my suitcase got hijacked for underplane storage when I had planned to carry it. 

I totally forgot my priceless Jell-O Art in its vulnerable top pocket, and sure enough, the plastic tote didn't hold up. At first it looked like every piece was smashed, but when I got over my hearbreak enough to fix them, I discovered that while nearly every piece had lost a petal or a leaf, they had broken at the joined parts. Within a few minutes, all were good as new! That stuff is strong. 

Structural, even. So that works into my idea, which may or may not involve walls, and my other idea is knitted Jell-O. Yo, Sadie! Let's see if it can be done.  The iWorld needs iSalvation. Or iSalivation. Or iSomething. You work on it. I have to start covering my kitchen with newspaper and filling all my furniture with piles of gelatin projects. It's Open Season on Jell-O!

Wait, we're trying not to use violent language. The non-competitive joyfest that is the Jell-O art peak season has opened for all!                         U-Jell-O too.