So much potential having a blog, but I'm just not finding the time and the right energy for writing. Not sure why...having trouble with finding enthusiasm for a lot of things. Mostly I have been making props for the show, which involved figuring out supports for them, as they are big. I finally decided to take some 6-ft. grids with me, since I have plenty and they can stand up well if made in a triangle or other stable free-standing configuration. That means I can maybe just clip my big cardboard "scenes" to the top or sides instead of trying to build on cardboard stands that have to be constructed on the stage as they won't fit in my car. Neither will the grids, so they'll go on top, and if the weather is good, no problem. Might have to make two trips but it is usually astonishing how much I can fit in my car.
I lost momentum yesterday so didn't do a lot but I figured out my costume, which is a big deal, and I started one of the trickier props by making a prototype, which was successful. That was pretty productive for a day when I obviously needed a day off and some space in which I didn't have stress about the fast-approaching deadline of the show.
I actually mixed up some gelatin and got started on a piece, which I can see in my imagination but I have that lovely capability of visualizing, and the disappointment that is built in when my skills don't match my visualization. The good thing about Jell-O as a medium is that you can't really make it do exactly what you want, so you have to relax your control and go with what appears in the process. It is freeing but can also be frustrating. I kind of forgot my formula and mixed my gelatin too weak, so had to start again. I use 3 oz gelatin (dry measure) per cup of water. I put two cups of water in a quart canning jar, add 6 oz of gelatin (8 oz is a cup, so 3/4 cup) and let it sit for about 10 minutes to "bloom" (absorb water), then heat it up in the microwave for like 2 minutes. Stir it in well before letting it sit to bloom. Adding gelatin powder to hot water is a mistake...it clumps up and does not easily dissolve. I had to do that to strengthen what I had made and it was no fun. I did it for like 20 years before I read a bunch of old recipes and realized that only Jell-O brand developed a way to make it work with hot water. Plain gelatin needs cold, just like cornstarch. Old tricks are good tricks.
But I managed and made a few pieces of potentially usable dried components for my piece, which I am imagining made of all dried but might just melt into something else at the end. That kind of excites me because of the risk. I feel like I could pack all of the dried components into the container and then pour in some liquid gelatin, not too hot, and it wouldn't completely melt everything...but it could. So I could ruin it all at the last minute when I would not have time to start over. For some reason that appeals to me...I must need more risk in my life.
Like I am imagining all of my set pieces falling over. Obviously that is a risk to other people so I don't want to do that, but my plan is complex and I won't be the one handling the sets, as my role is too complicated to work that in. So I have to try to make it kind of foolproof, which means setting it up in the shop where there is room for it, but I need to make the shirts first, as they need that room. I have the shirts, but am procrastinating the design for some reason...well, I know the reason: I really can't draw people. I usually cheat and use a photo degenerated by copying and I maybe should switch to that. Having a person on the shirts makes them sell better, and I have a solid idea...just not the skills to make it good enough.
I have been having that same problem and feeling since about age 8 which I read is when your visual skills outpace your technical skills and you generally "lose interest" in making art due to that frustration. You know how you want it to look but it is really hard to make it look like that. People forget to tell you that it just takes practice but now we have the internet memes so maybe you do hear that message. Or maybe you just use AI...ack.
I'm sure if I had known at the time to toughen up and practice some skills, I would be a different artist today but I just stopped allowing people to criticize my art and thus got no instruction and minimal development of anything that took too much effort. I kept making art, just did it my way and got used to having things be "good enough." Of course they didn't quite get me over the self-hatred of knowing they actually weren't quite good enough, and I could give you a litany of my failed efforts, but Jell-O saved me from all that because Jell-O Art exists without a critical structure and all Jell-O Art is good, perfect, and exceptional.
So I hope you are trying to make something or thinking about it and will go ahead and do it. There's no inherent value so just make it and remelt it or throw it away if it doesn't work, or set it aside for later when you get a new idea. Let your brain work on it when you are doing other things. I take a long time with my projects, so my brain can work on them without my direct engagement. I get a lot done while doing dishes or yardwork. I probably should have done the dishes yesterday, since this weather has prevented yardwork for too long. I needed some down time.
But I work for myself, so a Monday is a swing day and I'm not planning to work hard today. I'll do those dishes and fool around and maybe move the set pieces out to the shop anyway, where I can just move them around endlessly to make space. Better out there than in here. I'm not a hoarder, but I could play one on TV.
Make some magic! Tap into the joys of Jell-O. There's a good reason I've been doing it for 36 years, and only getting sick of it some of the time. There's always room to learn something new.
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